Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
