I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
