Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize