i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
