Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
