I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize