im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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