So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Randomize
