So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
