yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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