I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
