this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize