We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
