I want to have your abortion
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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