This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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