How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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