whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
