omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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