You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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