I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
