Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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