He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of