it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize