how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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