Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
