Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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