I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
