Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize