..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?