You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize