First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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