I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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