Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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