im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize