if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
