Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You made out with two different species that night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
