Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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