This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
vagina is talking i cant
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
