Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
