u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
