worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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