I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
