Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
