yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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