we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
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My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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