respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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