He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
