She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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