Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize