Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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