Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Couch. On fire.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
