I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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