It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
