the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
