I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
