Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
