how can u be prego again
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
