I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
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What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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