i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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