one two three fourrrrnication!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
